I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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