Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
