you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
