just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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