Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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