Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
