garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize