i jhust puked up my retainher.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
