I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
