They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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