so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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