i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
my poor anus
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
