Nicole vs. Life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
