Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
