"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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