Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
