a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
