Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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