**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
