and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
