So drunk, too bad you don't want this
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
