I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
50% drunk capacity currently
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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