We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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