fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
