My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
