Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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