remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
