Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
