awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
