Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Everclear isn't food dammit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
