Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
