Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
