Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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