My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
