Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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