So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
These tits shall not be calmed
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
