Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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