There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
