apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
