are you still at the devil's house?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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