Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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