I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
