Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
