i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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