just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
