Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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