Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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