you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
