It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
