sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
