if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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