oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
