i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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