You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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