whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
