I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
