no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
