my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
