no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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