If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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