Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize